A preview

I’m tackling a couple of writing projects. One is a lengthy piece of fiction that you can read an excerpt from here, the other is a shorter work, geared for children (of all ages?). I only got one response for feedback on the excerpt but was hoping for a little more noise. So, if you’ve got a few minutes, go back and read the excerpt and leave a comment, I’d appreciate it!

Maybe this next piece will generate a louder hum from some of you. Please, PLEASE leave a comment and tell me if you think short stories and pictures like the one below will attract and hold the attention of children. I know there’re a few parents here so I encourage you to comment, if you have young-uns there, by all means let them read it. Teachers? Aunts? Uncles? Comments from anyone are welcome!

O for Octopus

Overnight I seemed to have grown an extra set of arms. But then I realized I was an octopus and it was perfectly normal to have 8 arms. The next day I began thinking that since I had 8 arms I would need 8 legs too, and 8 of everything else. Including eyes, 8 of them would make seeing things a lot easier. And 8 ears, with 8 ears I would be able to hear things that I had never been able to hear before. And how much better would my sense of smell be with 7 more noses? And 8 mouths! I am sure that having 8 mouths would make each meal so much more tastier!

No other octopus would be like me. They would all want 8 of everything too. But they would not have 8 legs, or 8 eyes. No other octopus but me would have 8 ears, 8 noses, and 8 mouths. I would be famous! Every octopus in all the oceans would want to be like me. They would want to see me, they would want to know how they could get 8 legs, 8 eyes, 8 ears and 8 noses and 8 mouths. Hundreds and hundreds, probably thousands of octopuses would want me to tell them how they could be like me.

But I wouldn’t tell them how I got 8 of everything. No. They would beg me to tell them, NO! I would shout. I am not telling you! And then when all the other octopuses began to cry because I wouldn’t tell them how to have 8 of everything like me, when they started to cry like little baby octopuses cry when their daddies spank them, when they were all crying so loud that it made my 8 ears hurt, I still wouldn’t tell them. NO!  

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If only one out of all those hundreds, one out of thousands, if only one out of 9 billion crying octopuses said: “I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want 8 legs, or 8 ears, or 8 noses, no, not even 8 mouths. All I want is what I have.” If one octopus said that, I would cut off my 8 legs, I would pull out 6 of my eyes, I would cut off 6 ears, I would cut off 7 noses and 7 mouths. After I did that I would be very happy to be just me again.  

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7 Comments

  1. I have to agree with the other comment. It starts out really cute but turns and comes out “I only will if you will” which I wouldn’t want to teach children. Maybe he could instead realize he’s happy as he’s meant to be? Or find a different way to say what you’re trying to say. Yes, less graphic, too.

  2. Your 8 of everything octopus sounds kind of self-centered and narcissistic. And then the description of how he would cut off his legs and put out six of his eyes…perhaps a bit graphic and the stuff nightmares are made of? Of course, you can always go back to hallucinations about giant spiders. 🙂

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